Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
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No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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