I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize