Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
