Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
