handjob tips. give me some.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
