Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
