Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
