Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
