I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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