dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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