ya dads aren't the best wingmen
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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