I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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