Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
