Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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