I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
