what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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