Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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