I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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