why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
