your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
