i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
