Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
