4 words: hood of his car
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
