just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
