Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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