We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
