I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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