I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
