sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
