Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
