Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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