I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We left the knife in your bed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
