People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
