That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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