the condom got lost in my hair
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
