I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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