I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
