WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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