glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
