He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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