Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
