do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
