What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
