What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
