Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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