He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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