i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
