I'm eating all of the evidence.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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