and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
