If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
