didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
