My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
