Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
