Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
