Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You've changed since you got that strap on
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
