You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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