Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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