I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize