when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
