my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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