I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize