Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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