you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
