I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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