i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
