Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
